There are lots of ways to spell the name “joanne.” There might be an upper case “A” or a lower, an “e” at the end or not. There could be a space before the “A” or not. My birth certificate named me “Joanne.” When my parents adopted me at age two, they elevated the “a” to an “A” to declare my new status.
What touches me deeply is that my sister, adopted into a different home at seven, remembered the original spelling of my name. I found this out when I discovered her after a fifty year separation. I would never have known this had I not taken the risk of searching for her. I learned then that risk may uncover miracles.
Out of the orphanage I experienced a secure and simple childhood. Indoors I played paper dolls; outdoors it was kick-the-can and stone school. One day a neighborhood boy invited me to a game of marbles. I had marbles but had never played a game. In a spirit of wild delusion, I agreed. I well remember slouching homeward with an empty pouch, head down in desolation. That risk did not end well. In life generally I am inclined to play it safe.
When my husband had a chance to spend sabbatical time in South Africa in 1969-1970, lunar moths fluttered in my stomach at the idea of our family of seven undertaking that momentous journey. The deal was sealed when I was promised a trip to Kruger Park for this animal lover. This time was one of tremendous risk-taking. Having put ourselves in that extreme situation, we experienced angst as well as a huge broadening of our minds and hearts.
What seems strange to me is that this risk-averse introvert was dealt a mane of red hair which was bound to attract attention, producing ambivalent feelings in me. Positive attention feels great, but what is to be expected of me then? But maybe that’s a truth for all of us human beings. We get bored and stagnant when we don’t try new things; on the other hand, sometimes we just need to curl up with our blankies.
Being alive involves taking risks. Finding my sister, experiencing wild South Africa – these things stretched me wide open to a life beyond my wildest imagination.